How to Write in 3 Easy Steps!

For most of my life, my dream had been to be a freelance writer. Oh, other ambitions and interests snuck in, and I did try other things. But I kept coming back to the one thing I thought I was good at. Yet, when the opportunity to pursue this dream finally presented itself, I went about it all wrong, resulting in a dismal failure.

During my tenure as a newsletter marketer from 2006 to '08, I experienced some terrific extracurricular creativity. First came my community-theater directorial debut, Hamlet, Revenge!, which allowed me to wear multiple hats as I adapted a Shakespeare script--in this case, the rarely produced first quarto of Hamlet--and handled most of the advertising myself (with the indispensable assistance of the brilliant Donald R. Cook). The next year, I fulfilled a ten-year-old goal by directing a comedic version of "The Scottish Play" called Macbeth: Life on the Heath, truly one of the high points of my life. At the same time, I dashed off a stage adaptation of the Grimm Brothers' "Snow-White and Rose-Red," which my good friend and producer Gretchen Jacobs turned into a surprisingly charming show. And I took up the reins of senior editor and writer for an entertainment website, for which I ground out a huge amount of copy every week--all for free.

It was that last experience that led me to believe I was ready to be an online freelance writer. So, after being downsized out of my marketing job, I resigned from the pro bono position and looked for the right venue to practice my skills and finally get paid for it. Naive amateur that I was, I didn't look very long before happening on Suite101.com, which promised to be a place where I could improve my abilities by producing nonfiction articles on any subject I so desired AND get paid--one click at a time. Had I been a true journalistic freelancer, I would have dove in and pounded out goo-gobs of words, like I'd done on the entertainment site. I would have studied the types of subjects other writers were successfully tackling--most of which dealt with self-help and professional advice--and I'd have then drawn upon any practical knowledge gained in my life to turn out sure-fire, click-collecting articles.

What did I do instead? I chose niche subject matter that interested me and about twelve other people on Earth. I poured over books and websites on comics, history, and, of course, Shakespeare. I also threw in a couple of education pieces I thought might prove "helpful." Then my perfectionism and lack of confidence kicked in, and I sweated the prose in a manner that emulated a sculptor chiseling away at his marble. This all meant that my production was painfully slow, so that I barely broke the fifty-article mark, and I never even approached a financial return of a hundred bucks. Dispirited and frustrated, I burned out thoroughly on freelance writing and decided to pursue teaching, seemingly leaving The Dream permanently behind.

But that itch wouldn't go away. I continued jotting down notes for stories and nonfiction projects. I caught the comic-writing bug and watched my stack of scripts climb. I got the inspiration for a stage play about a well-known detective, and I decided it was finally time to work on the musical I'd thought up while acting in a Shakespeare show many years ago. Finally, I left the teaching profession, and I got the desperate idea in my head that the time had come. And this time, I wouldn't mess it up.

Oh, right; those "3 easy steps" to writing. Here they are: Stand behind your desk chair, and then take three steps forward and sit your butt down. Now write.

#drama #writing