Dear Life Goal

Following this new prompt, I now present my open letter.

My Dearest Life Goal,

I hope you don't mind my writing to you. I've never actually written a letter to a goal before, much less a life goal. And if you decide that you're not comfortable with this letter being open for everyone to read, please let me know before you take legal action.

The way I understand it, in the Game of Life, there are players, there's a ball, and there are goals. I don't know how similar this game is to other sports, but I'll assume there are two goals--the one for your side, and the one for those who are against you. Oh, and of course there are the spectators. If I may go off on a tangent for a moment, I need to say that I think sports spectators are ridiculous. You might think that someone as sedentary as I would have some sympathy for them, but I believe that sports are for players. I recently saw a tongue-in-cheek commercial about "a professional sports watcher" who spends his entire weekend constantly switching channels so he can see every touchdown, and I thought, "That is one of the most pathetic people I've ever seen." So, you can just imagine how I feel about NASCAR fans.

Tangent over; thank you for your indulgence. Now, the ball: what does the ball represent? For the sake of this analogy, we'll say (okay, not "say" but "write") that it's your ambitions. You start at the middle of the field...wait. Why the middle of the field? Why don't you start next to the opponent's goal? Hmm, what B.S. can I come up with for this one? We could say that the opponent's half of the field is your time in utero, which means your life has already started when you come out of the womb (oh, boy, the pro-lifers would have a field day with this). Or you could believe that the other half of the field represents your past lives. Do you believe in reincarnation, Life Goal? Hold on, I just realized I've not been addressing most of this letter to you. So, who have I been talking to? (The answer is "No one," because, to paraphase Scott McCloud, Nobody said a word.)

Let's finish this analogy so we can get to the central point of the letter, shall we? In fact, here's a great segue. In the game, the player with the ambitions ball kicks (or carries) it up the field toward her team's goal. Yes, this player will meet with opposition--some of it will be from people just doing their job, but some will be actively opposing the ball carrier because they're mean, contrary bastards who consider it their mission in life to spoil others' dreams. We calls these Republicans (just kidding, but not really). But, at the same time, the ball carrier will also have people on her side, helping her reach the goal, because not only is it the right thing to do, it also means that everyone on her side scores. So, she puts all her effort into this play, shutting out everyone and everything for the moment, focusing...focusing...then the kick...IT'S IN!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!

Ahem. I apologize for that outburst. I do hope you can forgive me. Although, I must admit here that "hope," in this context, is meaningless. Either you will forgive me or you will not. Any "hopes" I have will come to bear not one whit on your decision.

Now then. "Now then"? What exactly does that mean? There's now, and there's then. Is "Now then" some kind of paradox? What's your opinion, Life Goal? Nothing? Moving on, then. The player has put the ball into the goal; her ambition has been fulfilled, her life goal achieved. So, now what? In the game, in any game, each team keeps trying to put the ball (or puck or whatever) into the goal, and even if it succeeds it will go on doing this until the time runs down, because the team with the most goals wins. But what does that mean for the player who made that first successful kick? Does she go back and make another attempt? If so, why? Is it necessary for her to achieve that same goal over and over again, or does the goal in the game represent a different life goal each time?

For the sake of this bizarre analogy, I'll say that the best answer is that the goal-making player now gives her teammates a chance, and in fact she assists them in doing it, just like they did for her. Wait, is this communism? No, because the rules of life don't apply in the game. "But," you say, "I thought this game was life." Okay, then; I'll be bold and reply that helping others achieve their goals is as important in life as in the game. Everyone who plays the game fairly deserves to win. Does that mean it'll always happen? Sadly, no, because some players aren't as good as others, and the coach will make them ride the bench. That means no endorsement deals for them.

You breathe a sigh of relief as I state that I'm ending the analogy there. You have my gratitude for your patience, Life Goal. Writing without an outline, just putting down the words as they come into my head, can take us all to uncharted places. Without a flight plan, no one can even come to rescue us! But that's okay. I'm almost done. I guess what I want to say is, thank you, Life Goal, for always being there for me. You're a good egg. Without you up there in the distance shining your beacon, I'd still be running around in circles. Yes, I'm taking my own sweet time getting there, but, without the journey, I wouldn't even have a ball to kick in when I reach you.

Did that make sense?

Sincerely yours forever, Ryan

#humor #writing