These Movies Deserve Justice

Yesterday, I saw the new Justice League movie, which I'm not going to review here. I mention it because it more or less inspired this post. Mildly put, I didn't love it, but there are many DC Comics fanboys on social media who did, and they think anyone who doesn't share their passion for the film isn't a true DC fan and wouldn't know a good movie if it bit them in the posterior. However, I am a lifelong DC fan who believes he is a better judge of a good film than they are.

But have I the right to think that? Am I qualified to discern good movies from bad and pronounce sentence on these connoisseurs of poor taste? Or are they not only entitled but also right to like these movies? After all, I'm enamored of quite a few flicks that apparently make the rest of the world retch. Let's take a look at some of them, shall we? Below is a list, culled to ten, of movies favored by me but disliked by critics and viewers.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. While I read and enjoyed Seth Grahame-Smith's clever book, I felt like the title premise couldn't sustain a full novel. The author determined to fit his fictional events snugly into the full history of Lincoln's life, and it didn't always work. What was most disappointing to me was that Lincoln gave up vampire hunting upon becoming president, and thereafter he was a rather passive witness to the plot. In my opinion, the movie version--also written by Grahame-Smith--fixed those problems. It discarded historical accuracy in order to provide a moody, high-energy action flick, complete with a third act featuring the bearded president swinging his ax one last time, thus fulfilling the promise of the novel's cover art. This is one of the very few film adaptations I like better than the source material.

Big Fat Liar. This action comedy, ostensibly for kids, can actually appeal to all ages. The young male and female protagonists are charming and witty, especially Amanda Bynes, who here shows the beginnings of a great career that unfortunately wasn't to be. But they are both overshadowed by the great Paul Giammati in one of his best roles as the sneering, cackling villain. Even long-forgotten Lee Majors has a couple of terrific moments! Lots of fun for the whole family.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It. I understand why many people might look at Leslie Nielsen as a white-haired count and assume reflexively that this must be a bad film. But I think brilliant director Mel Brooks inspired the slapstick veteran to up his game for a movie that can comfortably stand as a companion to the classic Young Frankenstein. While the flick is broadly comic for the most part, Brooks knows when to make the humor soft and even when to be serious. I had the good fortune to see it in the cinema with an older actor friend who laughed uproariously and thus clued me in on what was so funny about it.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. I was a Joe fan growing up, despite my parents' attempts to steer me away from it. The toys, cartoon, and comic book were fun in different ways, because they were quite different from each other. Then, in my adulthood, came the live-action feature film, which proved to be different yet again from the other vintage versions. Thus many if not most of the classic fans were put off, even outraged. Along with that, Writer-Director Stephen Sommers chose to embrace the silly, sci-fi elements of the toys and cartoons. But, I loved the cast (especially up-and-coming Channing Tatum as Duke), the fast pace of the whiz-bang action that never lost the story, and the charming relationships between the characters. I enjoy this film just as much as the other versions of the franchise.

Halloween (2007). These days, almost everything gets remade, but some people still considered this one to be a sort of heresy. How dare rocker Rob Zombie profane John Carpenter's masterpiece with his Grand Guignol theatrics?! But, Zombie was smart enough to talk with Carpenter, who sagely advised the new director to make the "reimagining" his own thing. So, Zombie crafted an origin story for the killer, concentrating the first half of the film on Michael Myers as a cute but murderous child. Since we never see huge actor Tyler Mane's face in the familiar second half, it's easy to imagine the child's visage under the mask. Carpenter made his killer an inhuman monster; Zombie made his very human but just as scary.

Jason X. The tenth entry in the Friday the 13th series is famously reviled for its sci-fi trappings, but it's one of my favorites because it's fresh and different as well as cleverly funny. I mean, there must be something about the film if horror master David Cronenberg appears in it! Maybe he saw how fun it would be--the thawed-out Jason Voorhees let loose on a space station in the future, falling into his murdering routine because...that's what he does. One of the best moments is a nod to the cliche of Jason's attraction to young people having sex. It's that attitude that helps make Jason X such a hoot.

Jennifer's Body. Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody was pretty bummed when this film tanked at the box office, and I totally understand: when I saw it, I was flabbergasted by its failure to find an audience. It's charming, clever, witty, and creepy. This is Megan Fox at her most engaging, earning our sympathy even while eviscerating horny boys. And Amanda Seyfried is insanely cute, despite the attempt to make her look dorky. In fact, everyone is fun to watch, even Adam Brody, who pulls off a funny riff on rock-star wannabes. Plus, has there ever been a hotter lesbian kiss on screen?

Johnny English. From what I understand, this film was popular in Europe, where--let's face it--people's sense of humor is different. I guess mine is, too, because I died laughing at Rowan Atkinson's antics in the ingenious physical comedy scenes. What more can I say? It's a really fun movie.

Radioland Murders. Most people would call this film part of George Lucas's awful track record with comedies he's written and produced (Howard the Duck, anyone?), but I think it's terrific. Lovingly fashioned in the style of old-school screwball comedies, it's classically witty, the physical gags are well constructed, the leads have strong chemistry, and it's beautiful looking. It hurts me that this movie is so little thought of!

Timecop. Don't think too hard about the effects of time travel in this movie, because you'll quickly conclude that it doesn't work. But this is no more a cerebral film than any other Peter Hyams production; it's a fun ride, so take it for what it is and you'll like it. Jean Claude Van Damme is at his brooding, action-hero best as the future cop who must protect the timeline from the perfectly evil Ron Silver. The supporting cast is solid, including Bruce McGill, Gloria Reuben, and Mia Sara at her most beautiful. There are actually several JCVD flicks on my guilty-pleasures list, but I chose this one as the best of the lot.

Having read this list and my notes on the films, you might now conclude that I know no more about what makes a good movie than those DC fanboys. But I am quite comfortable in my love for these "terrible treasures," and perhaps I should allow others to be so in theirs. As long as they don't get loud about it.

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